Tags

, , , , ,

A few months ago, I received a call from my precious niece that I will never forget. “Don’t freak out, everything is going to be okay, but momma shot daddy tonight. He is going to be okay they said the bullet went straight through him”……………What in the HELL! I can’t even put into words the feeling and complete shock that overcame me.

My brother-in-law was not okay. It was worse than they had thought, and they couldn’t save his life. He died about 10 hours after I had received that call. My sister was charged with 1st degree domestic violence and taken to jail from the scene. Once he died they upgraded the charges to murder……MURDER, what is even taking place. The shock just grew.

Shock is good because you can do things you can’t believe you can do. I experienced shock for a long time at the discovery of my husband’s affair.  Shock is a gift from God! I know at some point if the cobwebs do not clear it becomes unhealthy, but the first days and weeks of shock, I believe, saves your life. In a four day period we had a bond hearing, and a funeral. I attended both and threw my support behind both. I took out a loan for an attorney and raised money for a funeral. Most of me wanted to sink into the floor and never get up again. I didn’t ! I have been going every since.

Reality is slowly coming to me, tears have turned to anger. My whole family is torn apart. I stay confused most of the time. In my mind I question everyone, thinking noone is ever really honest with me, most less with them self. I fear my husband will get tired of having a wife that does not see present and turn to another.

On a positive note my husband and I are learning to disagree with each other and be okay with that. Before it would make us so mad. I am learning not to try to “change his mind” , but simple not agree. He has been amazing through all this.

As of now my sister’s defense is going with battered wife syndrome, I have been told they think the charges will be dropped soon. My brother-in-law’s ashes sit at the funeral home for a day his wife and daughter can get them. That is all that is left of a 24 year marriage. Nothing is as it seems.

The first part of John 10:10 says “ The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy.” I got that part. The rest of it is what I hold out hope for…………

” I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.”-Jesus