A Gift

Yesterday I had a birthday. Yes I am the wise age of 35 now. I say that somewhat jokingly. I don’t know how wise one can be at 35, but I would say wiser then someone at 30. Well in most cases.

My gift this year is a rather big one. I had to get the Lord to go in with me to get this gift. I could not get this on my own. In my mind, in my spirit, opening this gift was so exciting. Even more exciting then opening a gift that contains the new Samsung Galaxy s3, (well I imagine because I did not get that gift, yet!)

Liking myself, loving myself, forgiving myself. A must have that so many cannot get their hands on, mainly because it cannot be bought. I like me. I think I am witty, funny, and gifted. I do not lie to myself for I hear the voice of truth saying I am deeply loved and accepted by my maker. So loved that Jesus himself made sure that the mistakes I do make are forgiven.

Having this beautiful gift does not mean I don’t have things to learn. Having this just makes me teachable in the spirit of truth and love. And when the evil one comes and tries to “teach me” I will know to just keep walking. I believe if I stopped and pondered those lies my gift would be taken from me

Does He really make ALL things work together for my good?

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I love music, it speaks to me. Can you tell? A few weeks back my husband sent a link to a song. He was struggling with physical pain and came across it. I had actually heard the song before as it was on my itunes music list. “Your love never fails” by Jesus Culture. There is a verse in it that sings “there may be pain in the night but joy comes in the morning”…this really just spoke to him at the time. He was having a tough few days. He has chronic pain due to degenerative disk disease and some other stuff I want list because it just gets old. For him waking in the morning is when the pain is the worst, and waking brings disappointment that once again he faces a day unhealed. … Those words in that song were grace for his day!

When I heard the song, even though it was not the first I had heard it, it spoke to me. It spoke to me in a different way than it had my husband. Something simple, something that is said over and over just jumped out at me…. “You make all things work together for my good”

You are probably thinking “if you have even driven by a church you have heard that scripture”. I agree Romans 8:28 has been thrown around and is one of the most famous “christiannese” phrases spoken. I’m not trying to be rude.  I’m just saying people take that and say it yet they really have no clue what it is they are saying. It has no life behind it. Just simply words they read in an old popular book.

In that moment it took life, it spoke life; it was grace for the moment for me. And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose

My conversation with the Lord as I try to figure out what it is that my spirit is hearing: “God, does that mean this place I am in, these things that have taken place, this hurt I feel, this wrong that has been done to me, this wrong I have done  (…….pondering…….) does it mean that you can take it and work something good out of it? God, you mean even things that were not in your will? Are you saying not only can you but you chose to make something of it? (…..wheels turning in my head …….)  So this “Good” you can work out of a disaster, which is not just for anyone, just for those who love you, those who are called according to your purpose??? God I love you, I know I love you. But am I called according to your purpose (………………long pause………………………..) I’m saved, but am I CALLED (……………………more wheels turning……………… long pause……………. reading………………..) I’m called, I’m called, I’m called…..I’m justified too!!”  Oh, well of course now I want to talk to him about being justified, but on another day!

You see this conversation I had with the Lord breathed life. I was no longer just reading words in a book. I cannot imagine what Paul was feeling when he wrote that, well I think I can imagine. For years I have heard it and it was just words. Probably because I was hearing them from either someone else or from myself, but this time I heard it from the Lord!

As life happens, as mistakes are made, as I find no matter how hard I try perfection is unattainable, I know  He will still work in all those things and will work something for my good (not my want) and for His glory.

My anchor holds within the veil

Sunday we sang “Cornerstone” by Hillsong. To say that the song spoke to me is a understatement. My mind did not fully comprehend the words I was singing, but my spirit sure did.

Over the week I have continually meditated on what it means to say “My anchor holds within the veil”. Who or what is my anchor? ……. Well the Lord of course! But really is He, or do I just really really hope he is. After so much “life” has happened I can say HE IS. Yes there are moments that I have to say “remember who your anchor is”.

So I know who my anchor is, but what is my anchor. What is my description of “anchor”? Well the definition is :something to hold another thing securely. Synonyms are: comfort, defense, fastener, foothold, grip, hold, hook, mainstay, pillar, protection, safeguard, security, stay, support. Not only does this sound true, it feels true.

I have a complete understanding of “anchor” now, but what does it mean for that anchor not just simple hold me, but to “hold me within the veil”. I could go on and on about the veil, but that will be the subject of its own on a different day.

The veil is the place of the holy of holies. Guess what, I get to enter into it! I did some thing that gave me that privilege. I ask Jesus to be Lord of my life, my whole life. He took my life and gave me his eternal life and by grace, his grace, I am held in the holy of holies.

I’m not holding my anchor, my anchor is holding me. He is not holding me over a cliff either. He is holding me in the most sacred place where his glory shines all around me. He is holding me in a place where the impossible is possible. He holds me in a place that the world only dreams exists.

Hebrews 6, what a great chapter. I read it in every translation I could. As you read it just builds and builds. Hebrews 6:19 “Which hope we have as an anchor of the soul, both sure and stedfast, and which entereth into that within the veil;”……………..I have not just been singing a song that has a great tune and feel good words. My spirit has been singing the promise of the Lord.

How it came to be

I actually enjoy writing. I am not the best at spelling, and my grammar can use some work, but I still like writing. Using big words and sounding oh so smart is not in me. Yet writing has always helped me get things out.

This morning, if you can call 4am morning, I woke up with lots of painful things on my mind. Brought to Psalm 55 by a twitter post I knew that someone, at one time, had felt my pain. After a while I drifted back to sleep and as I did I could hear His sweet voice say “I’m making beautiful spaces for you”. In my spirit I felt like a little girl in a beautiful field. (HAHA…as I’m writing, this is why I like to write, I am excited. In a field…..for a few weeks Mathew 13:44 has popped up in several unrelated areas. I knew God was saying something to me. “The kingdom of heaven is like unto a treasure hidden in the field; which a man found, and hid; and in his joy he goeth and selleth all that he hath, and buyeth that field.can’t wait to see this play out!)

So on with it, I felt like a little girl in a beautiful field and I yelled “Lord, you are going to make the spaces in me beautiful”.

My journey with the Lord has been all about him making beautiful spaces for me, and the spaces in me beautiful. Freedom, living from the tree of life, walking away from knowledge, going fourth in my destiny…….those are all some of the beautiful spaces He has made for me and in me. This journey never ends. He never stops making beautiful things!

I want to share all the things He has done, all the things He is doing, and all the things He is going to do. On this day I chose to move forward with what I have always felt in me. Not holding back because of fear of man, but going forth because of the love my savior and the Lord of my life has for me.